Facebook Official

Well, my last son just went Facebook official.  For those of you not in the know, this means he is “In a Relationship.” I have been down this road before, and was not looking forward to my last baby taking this step.  What this means to him, is that he has a girlfriend, to me it means that the question and answer period has been officially shut down.  It seems that once a teenager enters into a “relationship” all information becomes top secret.  As a mother, I do not possess the security clearance necessary to be privy to any details.

Unfortunately for all three of my boys, I was friends with the mothers of their first “girlfriends.” We would share whatever meager tidbits of information we happened upon, and hoped that no one’s heart was crushed in the first foray into romance. Not that we would ever in a million years know the details!

It seems to have happened in a heartbeat.  One day we would be told long sagas of the day’s events.  The stories would take 30 minutes to relate, while the actual event being described took 30 seconds. They included all the details; weather conditions, wardrobe, and cast of characters. They painted vivid verbal pictures of the observations made.  Now we receive a grunt, a shrug, or rolled eye, when we ask the innocuous “how was your day?”

Currently, all questions need to be presented to their advance team, than we will be informed what topics are off limits. The only thing I can count on anymore is “how about this weather?” They forget that I have always asked questions about what was going on in their lives. Why now, is it viewed as such an unwanted intrusion?  It makes me wonder, what do they think I will do with this information?  Will I contact their girlfriend, and pass along sensitive Intel? I am your mother, and in case you haven’t noticed, I care more for you than everyone in the world. I always have, and always will have your best interest at heart.  I want to be able to guide you through this stage, as I guided you through walking and riding a bike. 

My boys are somehow under the mistaken impression, that I was hatched fully formed as their mother. They can’t fathom the idea, that I was once a young girl.  I know how girls think!  I have had 50+ years experience as a female, and my memory is long. I am sitting on a wealth of information, and eager to share.  I am not, as I think you believe, trying to run/destroy/live your life.

As much as things change, they remain the same.  There will be girlfriends, there will be breakups, there will be broken hearts, and there will be brand new relationships.  I guess I have to learn from my sons, that this is the stage in my life, where I learn to zip my lip, and just trust that the lessons I tried to impart, have taken root. I’m trying, but it’s not easy. Then again what new stage is ever easy?