My husband and I had to fly to Florida this past week. My father-in law passed away. I should say his body passed away, as he suffered from Alzheimer’s, so he had left us many years ago. This was more like a reunion with the five other siblings, as the six of them had not been together in the same place since one of them married 7 years ago. That is an interesting story for another day….and it will be good!
Now I would guess that you are thinking this little essay is going to be about reconnecting with family and death opening the door to awareness……you would be wrong. I want to talk about other miracles I witnessed. Fasten your seatbelts.
I may have mentioned that my soul mate (husband, and he still is!) and I are both over the 6’ foot mark. Usually when we fly, we assume the shape of a pretzel, and pray for aisle seats. This time, since it was only the two of us, we decided to spring for the extra leg room seats on Jet Blue. To the uninitiated, they were wonderful! I could actually sit, without someone’s head lying in my lap! The flight down, was only half full, so after my obligatory 2 Xanax, and one strong bloody Mary, (I am a white knuckle flyer…better living through chemistry) I was able to doze off, mouth open, occasional drool, and slight snore (that might depend on who is telling the story) on the aisle, with NO seat mates. Besides the obvious benefits of space, these seats also afforded us priority boarding, and no charge on one bag of luggage. Talk about living large.
We attended the funeral, and we have all been to enough of those things to know what goes on. It went without a hitch.
Now it is time to fly home. My husband assured me we had the same wonderful seats for the flight back. We headed off to the airport, West Palm, Florida. The TSA check point was painless, grabbed a little breakfast sandwich, and we were on our way! I should have been suspicious, nothing goes that smoothly.
Suddenly things became increasingly clear to us. We were in the midst of the “Snowbird Migration.” All people originally from the northeast and who still own a home up “north” had spent the obligatory majority of time in the Sunshine State to qualify for the no income tax rule, and were now heading home to the tri-state area. They were on our flight, better known as the “Boca Boogie Boomarang.”
As I mentioned earlier, we had purchased priority boarding. Now there are, as there should be, passengers boarding before us; the poor souls in wheelchairs, mothers carting baby seats, and any member of the armed forces.
They announced it was time to board those passengers that needed extra assistance. I thought I was at the “Wheel Chairs on Parade,” special flight! No less than 15 wheelchair passengers lined up, with spouses sporting either bad toupees, or questionable hair color (I’m sorry, but red hair the color of an M&M, is not looking natural) pushing them along. I didn’t bother to count the number of walkers, and canes also lining up.
I am sure you are thinking (as I would) what a mean spirited old broad you are! You however did not witness what happened when we landed!
Alleluia, praise the Lord! The lame were now able to walk! Once we landed in Newark, not only could these previously wheelchair bound chair passengers walk, they could elbow and push other passengers out of their way, while swatting them with their 5 pound bag of grapefruits and Publix bags. Not one, and let me repeat that, not one, was using a wheel chair when it came time to exit the aircraft! In fact I believe they could have posed stiff competition for Nadia Comaneci! I swear I saw one old guy doing a balance beam over the top of the seats; my husband blamed that on the Xanax.
You don’t need to go to faith healers. Lourdes or Maggiore, people! Jet Blue flies out of West Palm, Miami, Fort Lauderdale, and Daytona daily! Seek and you shall be healed! You heard it here first!
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