Wicked Witch 2010

I have now earned the title of “the mean old witch” in the brick house.  Halloween has come and gone, and I am sure I am now infamous among the trick or treaters in our community.  Maybe I have gotten crankier with age, or maybe I am appalled at the manners or lack of, in the costumed crowd I met this Sunday.  As always, I purchased the “big” bars and bags of candy to distribute.  The packages contained both plain and peanut M&Ms, as well as plain and almond Hershey bars.  My poor husband was pressed into service as the door guy, and he was woefully unprepared. After an hour or two, he approached me, to say we were down to only candy with nuts.  He had been giving these Hobgoblins a choice!  He made the big mistake of letting them see the candy bowl, and mull over their selection. I told him to step aside, and I would show him how it was done.  The next time the doorbell rang; I grabbed a handful of peanut M&Ms and started flipping them in the proffered Halloween buckets.  I cannot tell you the number of times I was told, “But, I don’t like that kind of candy!” I replied “your choice is this, take it or leave it!” Interestingly enough, they ALWAYS took it.  Yes, I know that peanut allergies are running rampant, but a quick glance at the loot they had taken in so far, revealed the haul to be 50% Reese’s cups, or pieces anyway.  So unless these kids were packing epi-pens and vast quantities of Benadryl, I believe that part of the take would be given to the 10% house cut.  For those of you who don’t know what that means, I’ll explain.  Every bag of Halloween treats is subject to the 10% house cut.  This is the amount that parents and older siblings are allowed to skim from the bags.  Outrageous! You say? I say she who has not secretly taken from the Halloween haul, may throw the first candy corn. I also know that an impromptu candy swap takes place after the kids are done.  They get together; dump the contents of their bags, and trading rivaling that of the Wall Street Commodity pits ensues. Everyone is a winner in the sugar rush brouhaha.

 Sadly, the children that said “thank you” were in the definite minority, this year.  I know I may not have handed you chocolates crafted by Godiva, or freshly made Carmel apples, but come on, how hard is it to say “thanks?” Just wait till next year; I’m packing lollipops and sour balls!