I wanted to share my experiences of the college application process with all of you that are currently enjoying this rite of passage. First off I suggest drink heavily, it does nothing for the process, but it might make you feel better. For seventeen years we have been preparing our babes for this momentous step, going to college. The majority of you, like me watched the “Ivies” being taken off the table by the end of the first marking period in freshman year. I watched as the premier colleges got shuffled to the side as the march through high school proceeded. Oh we begged, threatened, promised rewards, stood on our heads and spit nickels, trying to motivate junior into improving his grades. We tried explaining to him that being the best at “Halo” and “Call of Duty” was not going to impress the college admission board. Well the time passed, and bang, Senior year. Now there is a bright moment here, if you’d like to partake. You and your spouse are officially eligible to engage in the “I told you so” dance, as it pertains to grades, club participation, and community service. It goes something like this, “I told you to work harder, but no, what do I know!” Sadly it wasn’t as much fun as I anticipated.
The process began.
The first step is finding out what you want in a college. To us parents that would mean reputation, size, areas of study offered, graduate outcomes, and to some, distance from home. In our case my son wanted a higher ratio of girls to guys, great party reputation, proximity to major cities, and did I mention great Party reputation. He also preferred a location close to a beach, with a temperate climate. Distance to home was not a priority, as he did not plan on coming home, unless he absolutely had to. We rapidly realized that our son was viewing this whole college gig as a Club Med singles vacation, and we would get to pay! We asked him if he had any colleges in mind. He replied he wouldn’t mind going to college in Hawaii. Like Don Ho school of surfing? We think not! We asked him what he thought he would like to do with his life………”surf and be rich,” was his reply. Oh our work was cut out for us.
After heartfelt discussions, “no we are not paying $50,000 a year,” “there is no school with a major in beer, babes, and bongs,” and “keep dreaming!” we had narrowed the field down. Next step was to see what these institutes of higher learning required in the way of SATs, and GPAs. Obviously we must be in the midst of a genius baby boom. According to the literature, the midline SAT scores, and GPAs expected by most of the colleges on our list was, in my humble opinion, wildly inflated. My husband and I are no dumb bunnies, yet with the scores we received, back in the day, we would be lucky we weren’t laughed right out of the guidance office. I would also like to interject here, DO NOT listen to other parents! If you do, you will end up crying yourself to sleep, convinced that junior will stay at home with you forever. Everyone knows someone whose child had perfect SATs or toll frees (800,800,800) and did not get into the school your child is considering. They will also regale you with tales of valedictorians, who besides being legacies, had done promising research on global warming, received plaques for outstanding community service, yet were denied admission to the school you were thinking about for your “if all else fails” he can go there choice. On the other hand you will hear tales of a kid who received a full ride with stipends, to a prestigious college, when you know for a fact, this child is far from being the sharpest knife in the drawer. Don’t listen, don’t believe! No one will admit to you that they are confused and worried that their children won’t “measure up.”
Now the list was down to a manageable size. Let the applications begin! From my own experience, most of the application is very much like all those forms we have been filling out every September for our children since they toddled off to preschool. Name, birth-date, address, blah, blah, blah, blah. The twist on the form is this, you don’t have to fill it out, they do! Hooray! You are not off the hook, though. In fact you may be shocked and appalled at some of the things your children do not know. For instance, “where was I born,” ”hey mom, did you go to college?” “What is my status?” “The choices being single, married, or divorced.” I was tempted to say stupid. This segment of the application is not too bad. Then comes the essay. Most colleges require an essay. Usually they are asked to write something along the lines of what “makes you special!” Because my Mom said so, usually is not enough. This is when the real procrastination begins. My child can text the equivalent of “War and Peace” with his thumbs, on a cell phone, with his eyes closed, while listening to music, yet was stalling on typing a 750 word essay. He would sit in front of the computer and gaze off into space, softly moaning at the indignity of it all. I had to keep reminding him, if this hurdle was not crossed, there was no Club Med, I mean college for you. Eventually that onerous task was behind us.
Addressing and mailing the applications, a snap! Paying the $50 per application, not as much fun.
The final step is the wait. The mad rush to the mailbox, as decision days came along. The elation at being accepted, the devastation accompanying the rejections. The worst by far, is the deferral. You’re not in, but you’re not out. Eventually all the responses are in, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It all does work out. Your son or daughter usually ends up where they are meant to be. Trust me I survived! Thank you Vodka, for all your help and support through this perilous passage.
No comments:
Post a Comment