Baggage

Here on the island  I notice the things I carry.  I trudge into my house each summer loaded down with the things my family  needs  for the duration. Bathing suits, rash guards, shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops , the dress code of the season.  Condiments for upcoming barbeques, saran wrap for leftovers, cases of bottled water, shampoo, sun block, and toothpaste, to name a few, are all carted from car to house. The beach towels come out of hibernation, and bikes are given a tune-up.  The first week on LBI is a constant carry, as we settle in for the next 10 weeks.

I measure the years by the paraphernalia I carry to the beach.  The summer of 1999, saw me hauling 2 cribs, 3 umbrellas, 1 blow-up pool, diapers, bottles, coolers, blankets, towels, chairs, sandwiches, boogie boards, skim boards, sun block, water, beach badges, and a multitude of beach toys. I do believe the transport and setting up of camp took longer than the actual  beach time.  I had  no moments  to sit, read and ponder, I was too busy counting heads in the surf, and patrolling the water's edge.  After a few hours,  the reverse  process began, then  we trudged back for baths and dinner. At night we all fell into bed, exhausted.  Life was simple.

In 2010, I carry myself, a chair, and a novel.  However I find myself carrying  many more intangibles. As my physical load lightened, my mental load increased.  My babies got older and more independent, but  my parents became more dependent.  My young children  started school, and I worried about grades and bullies. The transition into teen years  contributed big time to my mental load, as I fretted about drugs, alcohol, and poor choices.  Toss in world events, September  11, the recession, the war, with a jigger of braces, drivers licenses, and SATs....well you get the picture.

This summer my physical load is greatly diminished, but my mental baggage has increased. My first child is leaving the nest for college.   He won't be returning home with us at summer's end.  I will not be carrying his things back, he will be carrying them forward by himself. He is looking ahead to these times with high hopes and great expectations.  As it should be.  Me, I'd much rather  be burdened by the physical loads of 1999, they turned  out to be much lighter then I realized.