Fashion Plates

There goes my child, out to the bus stop.  No, that is not his older brother’s winter

coat, as a matter of fact, it’s his brand spanking new coat!   You see I suffer from

A wide spread disorder that effects most moms.  “Fear of Fitting-like –a-glove-itis.”

This came home to roost, as my young son (one of three) was doing the obligatory

modeling, before heading out to picture day.  (As most of you moms know, this is a lesson in futility. How you send your offspring out, does not guarantee that is how they will look disembarking the bus twenty minutes later!)  This particular morning, I recognized the same polo shirt he wore at last year’s picture day.  If you are assuming

that it had gotten too small…you’d be wrong.  It fit beautifully!  Therein lay the crux of the problem.  I cannot buy my children clothes that fit them perfectly. I always need to buy them a “little big”. I am always trying to squeeze out two years worth of wear.  Unfortunately, those smart pristine outfits, do not stay that way.  Usually some sort of

indelible mark will festoon the front, tar, magic marker, or more commonly, grease

stains from lunch. Jeans that were rolled up a little on the bottom, now bear more then

a nodding acquaintance with Capri pants. The clothes finally fit, but they look like trash! Don’t even get me started on footwear! I don’t believe my children have owned a perfect fitting snow boot, in their young lives. We all remember our parents feeling for our big toe, as we tried on boots, sneakers, and school shoes.  We also recall if there was not a goodly amount of space between toe and shoe, we moved up a size.

 Have we inherited this disease from our parents?  Possibly, but I have my own theory. 

 I believe the roots of this affliction begin in the earliest days of motherhood.  The perfect

layette is ready for your new infant, all size 0 to 3 months.  You quickly realize, you are

out of clothes in the first week.  Your baby blows through those monthly sizes in hours!

What fit in the morning, is only a memory by nightfall.  You shake your fist at the sky, and swear never to be duped by misleading size/age charts again.  By your child’s six month check-up, you are purchasing nothing under size 1, and more likely are buying  size 18 to 24 months. Thus this insidious disease has gained another victim.

Oh there are exceptions to the rule.  Those clothes you purchased last season from the clearance rack might just fit perfectly!  The reason behind this: your child had an unprecedented growth spurt.  Bottom line…you had purchased them extra large, relying on your estimation of how much the youngster would grow, and you blew the estimate.

Be honest with yourself….if buying that same outfit today, wouldn’t you be tempted to go “just a little” bigger?

  Some times one is forced to buy the perfect size.  This usually occurs when the child is celebrating Religious rites, such as Communions and Bar Mitzvahs, or possibly representing their school at the White House.  A gray area develops when in addition to aforementioned event, the child is invited to a family Wedding or Anniversary within six months.  Usually at this juncture, you buy just a ‘tad’ larger, and hope for the best…..because no way are you forking over money like that twice!

Then of course there is the dreaded “hand me downs.”  If you grew up with older siblings, older cousins, or even older neighborhood kids you know what I’m talking

about.  As tormented as we were by these duds, we are keeping this proud tradition

alive with our own children.  Perfectly fine t-shirts washed and folded in my son’s

dresser drawers, were previously owned by a cousin, now in college, and an older

teenaged brother. So what if my younger guys don’t have any clue as to the identity

of Power Rangers, these clothes fit fine, and I won’t twitch when the inevitable

grease stain lands, or rips and tears appear.  Besides, they will be handing down

their Telly Tubby  apparel  to the current crop of Wiggles fans!