Yes, I am your Mother!

To every cycle in life there are things to be learned.  I have entered the “invisible”

And “unhearable” cycle in my personal journey.  My children are getting a little older.

They no longer come running over, arms wide for a kiss and hug.  They still run, but

now its’ in the opposite direction.  Don’t even think of trying to hold the hand of a pre-

adolescent.  If the child is a teenager, don’t even think of walking on the same block.

I have seemingly overnight lost all my taste in clothes, music, and people.  I realize

I am no “Stacey’s” Mom”, and  I don’t “have it going on”. I just didn’t know how badly

I don’t have it going on.

There are lessons I am learning that I would like to share with you, my fellow boat mates,

and to you moms getting ready to embark on this journey.

Never, and I mean never introduce yourself as so and so’s mother.  Children of this

age do not want their peers to know that they have a mother.  Oh yes it is understood that

even their friends have mothers, however their moms are way cooler then you. In fact

their moms let them stay out as late as they want, give them unlimited funds, never ask

them questions, or nag them about wet towels on the floor. (I wonder if I can live with them.)

When you ask where they are going, and who they are going with, be ready for a battle.

In fact sometimes the simple “how was your day?” can be the first shot in a skirmish.

Be prepared to hear the time honored “why, do you need to know, don’t you trust me?”

Another popular response is “no one, no where and nothing.” The key here is dogged perseverance.  Stay your course.

Do not buy them clothes in a moment of maternal kindness.  Unless of course

you don’t mind finding your gifts scrunched up in the bottom dresser drawer, tags

still attached, and far too late in the season to be brought back or exchanged.

You need to learn how to text.  I fought this for years, but it is the only sure fire

way to contact your offspring.  For some unknown reason the vibration of the text

message acts like the bell on Pavlov’s dog.  They spring to attention. The amount of

typing my son has done with his two thumbs boggles the mind. He moans and groans

about typing a five page paper with a week deadline, yet types the equivalent of “War

and Peace” daily.

Get ready to repeat yourself over and over again, as these children are deaf to your

pleas pertaining to chores and curfews.  They will adamantly deny they ever heard

you, ask them to take out the trash, pick up their rooms, or do their summer reading.

The only way you can prove that you have made these requests is through writing.

This is when your ability to text comes in handy. Rest assured a text message never

goes unread.

Another lesson I have learned is “beware the random act of niceness.”  When

your teenager compliments something about you, or does a chore unbidden, be

on guard.  This is usually followed by a request for money, a ride, an extended

curfew, or some bad news.  Cynical you say? Nah….experience I reply!

They drive me crazy, yet I still love them with all my heart. The bottom line is that this too shall pass.  Just think of all the fun, and I told you so’s I’ll have when they have some children of their own “JUST LIKE THEM!”