I and I’m sure you watched the awesome 12/12/12 benefit concert on TV last night. Yeah, I couldn’t get tickets either! Overall it was truly spectacular, and the lineup was unparalleled. However as much as enjoyed what I saw (I must confess, I nodded off during Sir Paul) there were a few thoughts crossing my mind. Never one to keep my opinions to myself, I thought I would share them with you.
Bruce. What can one say? A Jersey boy to the core, never forgetting his roots. But Bruce, and I say this with much love, its time to move into the “relaxed fit” in jeans. Yes, you are still a hunk, and have moves most 25 year olds covet, but it is time to move on. That waist band must have been killing you, and the tightness in the thigh area reminded me of a pair of super strength spanx. Trust me on this Bruce, I moved into the “relaxed fit” in clothing years ago, and have never looked back. Leave the skinny jeans to those flash in the pan, Boy Bands. I have heard rumors that Mayor Bloomberg may enact a new law, only ‘RELAXED FIT” on anyone over 55, to go along with his no “Big Gulp” law. Oh and by the way, you were awesome.
Another home grown boy, Jon Bon Jovi. A native son, that does this state proud. I have a question though. According to the internet you are up in my “generation.” How the hell can you look that good? Inquiring minds want to know. I have a few theories; you are living off supplements of Botox, you have made a pact with the devil, or like Dorian Gray, you have a portrait in your attic that is getting very, very old. Please let me know Jon, because all I want for Christmas is my youth.
The Rolling Stones…enough said! I want to know what the band’s budget is for hair! You cannot tell me that Mick, and Ron Wood have absolutely no gray hair. I must commend their colorist though, as he/she knows enough to color the eyebrows as well. I did notice that no shirts were removed, and bare chests revealed. I am sure we would have spotted a gray hair or three. Sadly, I think Mick and Ron used up the entire hair color budget, case in point Keith Richards. The amount of hair is truly amazing as well. Maybe taking massive amounts of illegal drugs, washed down with hard liquor, in your youth, is more effective than Rogaine…..who knew? I hear the boys are clean these days, no drugs at all. I guessed that by looking at them, no Botox users in that bunch. For your information, the “relaxed fit” does not apply to Mick Jagger. He gets the “If you weigh less than a fifth grader” exemption.
Alicia, Alicia, Alicia. Wouldn’t playing your song “NewYork” been more appropriate? What was with “hold your cell phones up?” Is this a throwback tribute to the days of people holding their lit lighters aloft? If that was your intention, you picked the wrong song my dear. That is only for “Sweet Caroline.” Whoa, whoa, whoa! By the way if I had been there, I would not waste my phone battery like that. I would be using it to send text, twitters and instagrams to everyone I knew, saying Nah, nah, nah, I’m here and you’re not! I’m kind that way.
Every long concert needs an intermission, or as some people call it Kanye West. At our age (the same age range as most of the performers I might add) a bathroom break is not a luxury, but a necessity. You are usually loathe to leave your seat, and possibly miss something! This is also the best time to refill your beer, buy a churro, or get up and stretch. How did they know we would realize it was the break? I guess they counted on us to figure out that age old question, “Which of these is not like the others?” and plan our bathroom/beer/burrito break accordingly. I cannot let this go by without commenting on the wardrobe choices of Mr. West. Was he wearing a hefty garbage bag around his waist? I hope he didn’t pay a lot for that kilt, as you can get a box of 28 for $13.62 at our local Sam’s club. Sorry Kenye, this was a rock and roll benefit, and who ever put you in the lineup, is probably seeking new employment as we speak.
Well that about wraps up my musings this morning. I also want to add a disclaimer. I did not look at Facebook since the concert, so don’t blame me if you posted/tweeted the same thoughts. It just means that there is a reason we are friends, very good friends!
