Failure to Launch

Failure to Launch Years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, all we required was a beach towel, Bain De Soleil, and maybe a boom box for a day at the beach. As time went on, we started using sand chairs, they sat 4 inches above the sand, and fully reclined. We would upgrade as years went on, instead of the standard model, we opted for additional features, chair with cup holders, side pockets, and the anti-sunroof or sun shade. We had our Walkman’s and a large bottle of No-Ad lotion. This year, my 50th year of using this type of chair, I have been forced to abandon it. We started to suffer from “failure to launch” syndrome. Sitting down on our chair was easy,although gravity aided in a quick desent.After a lovely afternoon at the beach, it was time to go. The first step is getting up. Easier said than done. My husband’s method calls for one to grasp the arms and pop right up. After a number of aborted launches he achieved lift off. My way, was to scootch to the edge of the chair, and fling myself forward into child pose, from there I executed a slow motion downward dog. Success we were standing. We needed a minute or two, to reorient ourselves as to time and space, as we had just finished a very taxing workout. When our heartbeats returned to normal, we realized our days of using sand chairs had come to an end. We brought our new Hi-Rise chairs, that are the same height of those old lawn chairs or waffle thighs seats that we used to scoff at. They also come with cup holders for our Stanley cups and side bags to store our ear pods and SPF 100. Don’t even get me started on Adirondack Chairs.