I am sure today many of us are looking back on our own wedding day, although most people won’t come close to the pageantry of William and Kate’s (or Billy and Kathy, if they were here in the states) wedding day celebration. I also wonder if they still give out pieces of cake to their guests to take home. Old legend has it, that if you sleep with a piece of wedding cake under your pillow, you will dream of your future spouse. I know William’s grandmother, Queen Elizabeth, handed out small parcels of her wedding cake. How do I know this you might ask? My mother actually received a piece! She was a young woman, working in London, when the Princess Elizabeth, now the Queen, married Prince Philip. One of her pals worked in the palace at the time. The young bride kindly handed out pieces of the cake to the staff. My mother’s friend snagged an extra piece for my mother. I asked her if she slept on it, and dreamed of my father. “No, I ate it!” was her reply. Guess she wanted to be surprised. Can’t say I would do any different, I love a nice piece of cake. But it makes you wonder what that thing would have been worth on e-bay!
Watching the newlyweds brought back fond memories of my own wedding day, and the accompanying missteps. Every bride wants to look her best, hair, make-up, and the all important beautiful wedding gown. On the afternoon of my wedding I was getting prepared at my parent’s house. I had the dress, a lovely lacy confection, a new pair of open toed white pumps, with killer heels, and the requisite veil. I also had a gift in mind for the groom. I had decided, as demure and virginal as I might look on the surface, there would be nothing demure about what I was wearing underneath. I had planned to wear a garter belt, and sheer white hose. This was pretty racy for the times, it pre-dated Madonna! Now being a tad over 6 feet tall made finding hose long enough to reach my thighs no easy feat. Remember, there was no internet, and I didn’t know what a transvestite was, let alone where he shopped. Luckily, the kind ladies at Milady Lingerie Shoppe were able to procure me a pair.
As I was getting dressed, my father noticed that his rented Tuxedo Shirt was missing all the buttons. He didn’t have a set of studs, nor would we have known what they were. The last time he had worn a Tux, was well, never! My mother ran downstairs, to go through her sewing supplies, to try and rustle up some buttons, and do a little sewing. Meanwhile, upstairs I finished dressing. My mother entered the room, and stopped in her tracks, her mouth fell open. Oh yeah, I was rockin’! I expected her to say something to the effect of “you look beautiful!” But, that is not what she said. “Oh my God, you look like a lady of the night!” was her comment. Apparently the extra long slip I ordered was a tad on the sheer side. You could see right through my dress, right down to the label on my new garter belt. “You cannot walk down the aisle looking like some tramp.” She informed me. She started pulling all her long slips out of the dresser, tossing them my way. I put on another, and another, and still the Hookers R Us get up was still visible. “Here is some pantyhose, lose the prostitute underwear.” She said as she handed me a pair of Leggs in a lovely Taupe shade. Did I mention that they also had reinforced toes, and heels, and I was wearing open toed shoes? I peeled off my “Groom’s Surprise” and hoisted up a lovely brown pair of pantyhose. Another thing to note; my Mom was only 5’8, I am 6’1. Where do you think the crotch on this pair of hose was? If you guessed 5 inches below where it should be, you would be correct. For the sake of decency, we decided that I would also wear the 3 slips under the gown, just to be sure! We made our way downstairs for pictures, and the kindly photographer didn’t snap any candid’s of me trying to pull my stockings up, through my gown.
Off to the Church. Surprisingly all went well. Walked down the aisle, the groom showed up, and we got ourselves married. Next stop was the local park, for photographs. As we were walking to a picturesque spot, I started to trip up on something. I looked down, but couldn’t see what was impeding my progress. My Gallant new husband knelt down to investigate. Apparently one of my mother’s slips had decided to give up the ghost; the tired old elastic lost the spring in its step, and was now pooled around my ankles. My husband retrieved the old thing; looked at it in horror, and asked “didn’t you even buy new underwear for your wedding?” “You wouldn’t believe me, if I told you” I replied, as I tried shimmying up my droopy brown pantyhose, with the reinforced toe.
Everything after that point went well. Had a great time at our reception, laughed and danced with friends and family (minus the pantyhose, which I ditched, when we reached the reception hall.) And here we are so many years later, still together, still laughing, and would still do it all over again. Congratulations William and Kate.
No comments:
Post a Comment