Oh Say Can You See?

Along with the usual signs of aging; grey hair, wrinkles, memory loss, and the old middle age s-p-r-e-a-d, I must finally admit to another portent of age.  I am as blind as a bat. One of my loving offspring pointed out  that when I read dosage quantities on over the counter medications, I always head to the window, hold the container up to my nose, squint my eyes, and move the thing in and out to get proper focus. When did this happen? I always had 20/20 vision.  Even at my last eye exam (15 years ago), the Doctor remarked on how unusual it was to have such strong vision at my age. I guess I didn’t pick up on that qualifier “at your age.”

I first noticed some difficulty when my children were babies.  I would squint at the dosing instructions, and search for the proper markings on the dropper. I attributed this to the exhausting days of early motherhood, and the accompanying lack of sleep. I was wrong; they are just printing things smaller and smaller these days.  Even Street signs have shrunk in my humble opinion. I am usually the navigator on most road trips. I was always able to read signs quite easily. Nowadays my spouse and I have turned into those annoying drivers that come to almost a complete halt at each street sign, while the line of cars behind us, honk their frustration.

Forget threading a needle! I don’t think I’ve threaded a needle in the past 10 years. If it can’t be repaired with masking tape, iron-on patches, or safety pins its’ off to the tailor, or trash heap. Another bothersome thing is the laundry instructions on the clothing tags. It is just black smudges to me. I have found most items of clothing can survive a cold water wash, and a quick spin in the dryer. If this method doesn’t get the dirt out, I don’t care! I can’t see the stains anyway.

Going out for a fancy dinner can be a real puzzler.  When the lights are low and romantic, the menu is printed in a fancy script, and everyone forgot their reading specs, it really ups the ante.  I try and read the menu by holding the candle up to the printed page.  This occasionally turns into menu flambé. I broke down and bought one of those little lighted magnifying cards. Oh that brought on a multitude of chuckles. I had the last laugh, when my dining companions eagerly awaited their turn to use it.

To anyone who has ever had to read the serial number off of the back of an electronic gadget, I feel your pain. It had gotten to the point where using just a headlight was not working. I had to wait for one of my children to come home after school, to read the numbers for me. Problem solved. I am now the owner of not one, but two magnifying glasses.  It is like a whole new world! I can finally read the instructions for the remote and program my phone. I can follow the teeny tiny instructions on the Mac n’ Cheese box, no more cheddar pasta soup for us!

I know I am not alone in the land of the blurry vision. I keep seeing info-mercials for the “Threads Itself Needle”, and “Magnifier Glasses”.  My kindle even has a font size application to increase the print size. However to get the size I want, cuts down the words per page to about 10.

Many of my peers have the same diminishing vision issues, and herein lay the bright spot. When I run into old friends or former High school chums, we all remark to each other how we still look the same, and have not changed! There is something to be said for losing your sight, as long as your friends are too!